A Handy Reference for Your Winking Needs

**Disclaimer** I protect everyone's anonymity who I talk about in this forum, unless they specifically tell me I can mention their name.

My friend Madonna (or Gemini, on the Google thingy) suggested I come up with a list of situations in which it's INappropriate to wink. Let me tell you, I had to think long and hard (that's what she said!-Michael Scott, 2006) to come up with some such scenarios. But, very few people have ever accused me of quitting! Here it is, a list of Wink Wincing Swituations:

• You're on a date and he says that he's really busy lately because he "ALLEGEDLY" sexually harassed his co-worker. **WINK!**
• "Your short pants look awesome!" **WINK!**
• You order your coffee and tell the barista "Wow, coffee really gets things going, doesn't it?!?!" **WINK!!**
• You read in the paper about the man and woman found naked on the side of the street at 4am and you tell your boss "Good thing I went home early, huh??" **WINK!**
• You're underage at a bar and you're a lightweight. You throw up in your hand because you think you're being inconspicuous and you look up to find a group of guys watching you. You wave. **WINK!**
• "Officer...is there any other way we can take care of this ticket??" **WINK!** FEMALE OFFICER, FEMALE OFFICER!!