I Wonder What Sound a Blackberry Makes as You Throw it Against the Wall?

I try to stay positive with my posts...(WHEN I post). But all I'm feeling right now is frustration.

I hate my phone.

I didn't even WANT the Blackberry. I wanted a regular phone that had a qwerty keyboard. But my cell phone company has now made regular phones and their plans just a hair cheaper than the smart phone. So I thought "Ok, for $10 more a month I'll get the Blackberry. Why not?"

Guess how long my fully charged battery lasts? Approximately 5 hours. That's so smart.

I've closed programs, deleted all the stuff I could--basically dumbed it down. I even went into the store and had them replace my battery. I said "I know I have another year until I'm eligible for an upgrade, but all I really want is a downgrade. Can I please get a downgrade???"

"No Miss. No downgrades."

A New Holiday

If you see me today and I look like this

it's because I'm celebrating a new holiday. I call it "New Door Day." The Great Door Saga of 2011 comes to a close today as my front door and side door are being replaced AS I TYPE THIS!

Forevermore and throughout the land, September 21st will be celebrated by the traditional eating of a cake donut in the early morning hours. At 4pm every man, woman and child (throughout the land) will open and shut their front door 6 times: 1 time for each month this project lasted. At dinner time, families should light candles and sing "Hallelujah to Our Saviors George Clooney and Lowes." Finally, much like the king cake associated with Mardi Gras, children will have fun eating a traditional New Door Cake, and if they find the mini-front door baked in the cake, they win a prize.

Eat This Not That

I have never read the book Eat This Not That. I only hear the guy regularly on The Today Show. I like that he exposes the massive amounts of sodium, fat, calories, sugar, (fill in the blank) of all kinds of food. Sometimes I need that wake up call.

What I don't understand is the analogies he makes to describe how horrendous a particular food is.

"Eating this sandwich is the equivalent of eating 25 bagel bites."

What does that mean?? What kind of a nutritional reference is THAT? To be an effective analogy, shouldn't the analogous part be some kind of universal concept? Something that most people would relate to or visualize immediately without having to google "nutritional content bagel bite"?

"Eating two slices of this pizza is like eating 47 chicken nuggets."

Um...so that's good?

There is One Way

My daily amount of promotional emails is getting out of hand. I need to make some decisions to de-clutter my inbox and my brain.

Today's promo email from Land's End said "Seven Ways to Wear Your Pants."

There is ONE way to wear your pants. Around your waist.

I'd Much Rather be Forever in Blue Jeans

Neil Diamond is getting married!!!

This news makes me want to grab an American flag and march around in a big circle to "Coming to America." I might even gallop.

Holiday Road

Hopefully you're enjoying your Labor Day. If you don't have a day off work, then I hope you have an aggravation-free day. After a great night with friends (and copious amounts of guacamole!) I was ready to tackle the weeding for the 2nd time this year. NO JUDGEMENTS! I'VE BEEN BUSY!

I got a run in, read about Harry and the 2nd task of the TriWizard Tournament, learned that I'll never give my cat yogurt again, listened to a podcast describing the horrible new craze of hobo-themed weddings, and I'm now procrastinating mowing my lawn. Some deeper musings going on...but maybe that's for later.