Saturday, November 12, 2011

Let the Leaves Fall Where They May

Editor's note: I actually wrote this on Saturday but apparently the blog is no longer compatible with IE 9. I welcome all techie advice.

Don't think that just because I haven't posted in a long time that my neighbors have been behaving themselves and we've been making s'mores together in the autumn evenings. Oh no...fall is when they get extra prickly.

There is a giant tree on the strip of lawn between my sidewalk and the street. The parkway. Or, if you're Canadian, the Boulevard. Or, if you're British: the Verge. The huge tree, admittedly, drops tons and tons and tons of leaves each fall and because of the natural force we call "the wind," not all of those dropped leaves obey property lines and stay within the limits of my property. Some of the leaves venture over to Screamy and Blank Stare's lawn, although I'm sure they regret it the minute they get over there.

It was about 5:30 Saturday when I turned around from the computer because I could hear my neighbors raking AGAIN. They rake. Every. Single. Day. I watched Blank Stare rake the leaves closer and closer to my property, until there it was, a medium sized pile of leaves sitting inches from my lawn. I waited breathlessly to see what she'd do.

I stood. Coffee cup in hand. I stood at the front window of my house, summoning her with my glare. Just as she was about to take one big SWOOP with her rake and sweep them over the property line, she looked up at my house. She saw me. And then...she threw her rake down in disgust and looked down and off to the side, as if she was muttering something. I caught her!!! Victory is sweet, my friends! She picked up her rake. She marched out of sight. She reappeared with a box. She walked over to her little pile and began scooping them up with her hands and depositing them in the box.

I watched her from my window for a long time. I watched her sweep and clean the curb on the OTHER side of the street. I watched Screamy come out of the house to yell at her about how poor of a job she was doing.

I considered going outside to confront them and let them know that I know they're dumping the leaves on my yard. But...tomorrow the wind gusts are supposed to 40mph. I think Mother Nature wins this round.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

New Verb












My new word is: Roni--v. Meaning: 1. to lay around and offer nothing of substance. 2. to sleep 18 hours a day in various places. 3. to get by in life on your looks. Usage:



"What did you do Saturday?"

-"Nothing. I was so tired, I just Ronied all day."


"You look great. Did you Roni last night?"

-"Yeah, I Ronied for like 8 hours straight."


"After Thanksgiving dinner the whole family watches football and Ronis."


"He quit college, seeing no need, since he planned to Roni his way through life."