I'm an ambivalent traveller. I don't crave travelling but I don't hate it. It's always nice to get away and it's always blissful to arrive back home. I do not hate airports like some people, instead, I treat them like anthropological field trips. You can see a lot of humanity at the airport. If you read my "bio" to the right of this, you see that I don't find myself interesting, I find a lot of stuff around me interesting. Here are two examples of not being interesting but being attune to others and willing to NOT shut your eyes, NOT tune out, and NOT pretend you exist in a bubble.
I rode the bus from South Bend to Midway. I lived in Chicago for 2 years and can drive down the Dan Ryan or Michigan Avenue at rush hour but I refuse to drive to the airport. I'd rather ride the bus and take an extra hour getting there and read the whole way or not worry about traffic. So about half way there a girl gets on the bus and sits down in the seat in front of me. I was listening to my podcasts when the girl started to talk on her cell phone. I unconsciously increased the volume on my ipod to hear over her but I realized at a certain point that I could no longer concentrate on the podcast because the break up story this girl was shouting into her cell phone was so loud.
I turned off the ipod and looked around me. Was anyone else listening to this? Was anyone else slightly annoyed? "No it was totally mutual, you know what I'm saying? But I don't think he expected me to have a date already, you know what I'm saying? I left him the lawnmower because I wanted a self-propel and he wanted a push and I said if you buy the push mower you're doing all the mowing, you know what I'm saying? The mortgage is in my name because he has shitty credit so I'm going to own the house and he's going to the rent from me and his friend Lori is going to live there but they're just friends, you know what I'm saying? No, just friends." It was really fascinating, I don't think I'm doing it justice in print.
What happened next was pure awesomeness. She shouts into her phone, "No, I'm the only woman he's ever slept with." Pause....I look around. What the hell? Does she even know where she is?? I see the bus driver's eyes flick up into his giant rear view mirror at her. "No! I said I'm the ONLY woman he's ever slept with!" she screams louder. The bus driver grabs his little microphone and announces to the entire bus: "Ma'am can you please lower you voice and keep your conversation to yourself?" At that moment I renewed the love I have for my life. Just awesome.
When I got to Midway I found out I was going to be delayed for an additional hour. I was sitting at the gate and an elderly gentleman had just been wheeled in a wheel chair to sit to the left of me. I debated getting up to go to the airport bar which was right next door to the gate. (That part is important...the proximity of potential freedom) In my final minute of contemplation the elderly man turned to me and asked if I was going to be at the gate for a little while, would I watch his stuff? I agreed, since I ask people to do this for me all the time when I run to the restroom.
The man thanks me then gets up out of his wheel chair and walks away. Now, I realize that everyone in a wheelchair is not necessarily unable to walk. At that moment--2.5 hours on a bus, airport security, and a delay under my belt--it just struck me as Seinfeld-esque. It struck me as the kind of observation my boyfriend David Sedaris would find amusing. It was entertaining until the guy had been gone for 40 minutes and I was stuck there in the seat...just 20 sweet feet from the bar. There was no sign of this guy. Who asks a stranger to watch their wheelchair at the airport and then disappears for 45 minutes??? Somebody who comes into contact with me, that's who.
He came walking back at 45 minutes with a big bag of McDonald's. I contemplated getting up to go to the bar but wouldn't you know it? At that moment they announced my flight had switched gates and we'd be taking off almost immediately. (Lie. We BOARDED immediately but sat on the runway for 2 hours.) I wish I could say I took a train over the weekend so I could have a true Planes Trains and Automobiles story but alas, I did not complete the trifecta. Don't bet against me, though. :)
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