A Break From Our Regularly Scheduled Sarcasm

I sat on the dais at commencement Saturday. First row, so thankfully I always wear cute shoes. An awesome art professor friend of mine says that walking in commencement exercises feels like you're walking the runway, and I have to admit--she's right. You parade through the throngs of families, dressed in a robe (I don't wear the cap. Like Jesus said: "Do not hide your light under a bushel") and the people love every minute. I take no credit, I'm not that interesting. The credit goes to the College, who every year puts together commencement exercises like no other college. The traditions, the attention paid to the graduates and the families, the beauty, the music, the marshals, the setting...if it doesn't get you choked up then you're the Tin Man and need to go see the Wizard for a new heart.


I looked out at the graduates and I thought back to myself, 11 years ago, sitting in one of the same chairs that the young women were sitting in Saturday. I remembered the fear, the joy and the intense sadness of the occasion. I thought back to walking out of the building on a sunny day, to process in front of my professors and all the families gathered and I can still clearly remember seeing my mom and brother standing at the ropes waiting for a picture as I walked by. And I still remember the bittersweet feeling of passing another milestone without a hug from my dad. I had come to Indiana with a certainty that I did not possess on my graduation day. I did not want to leave, I did not want to start a new chapter, and I did not feel certain I was making the right decision by moving to Chicago.


Eleven years later, thankfully, my course has self-corrected somewhat. I really love living and working in South Bend. I have some pretty outstanding friends. I've accomplished a lot by myself and with the help of those friends. Moving to Chicago was NOT the right decision but overall it's given me so much perspective, and without those 2 years, I don't think I would appreciate all that I have today as much as I do. I have a lot to be thankful for.


Every May I watch students graduate who I've known for 4 years. I watch them walk across the platform, get their diploma and picture with the president and I watch them walk out of my day-to-day life. I always wonder how they're really feeling because outwardly they all look so composed. I wonder if any of them feel lost like I did. I wonder if any of them are fighting tears like I did. Then, I wonder why I'm the only one up on the dais crying like a baby.