Saturday

Let me tell you a little about Saturday. (I'm not telling you about my entire day on Saturday, this isn't a gossip rag, people).

I went to torture (bootcamp class) in the morning, stopped at Bed Bath and Beyond (that's what you do on nice little Saturdays) for a bridal shower gift, went to the farmer's market where I walked away with a loaf of Greek olive bread and a bag full of pickles (I have no idea...don't ask), and headed home to get ready for the bridal shower. All in all, I was batting a thousand.

It was a beautiful day and I turned down my street with the radio up and the windows down. Unfortunately, my Wait Wait Don't Tell Me was drowned out by the sound of a woman on a microphone shouting "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!" over and over...and over again. At first I thought it was the annual humongous picnic/festival in the park, the one where they smoke ribs all day and I salivate like a dog. The same picnic last year where I met the woman who lived in my house decades ago. The picnic where a group of girls yelled a racial slur at me. Awesome!! My day was getting better!

Nope, no ribs. No racial slurs. In the park across from my house was a woman on a microphone, singing and preaching to a crowd of about 10. The microphone she had was quite a doozy or perhaps her crowd was hard of hearing because I could hear the woman inside my house, in my kitchen. Nice pipes, I thought.

I peeked out my windows to watch and noticed that my new hydrangeas were looking mighty wilted so I went out with a bottle of Miracle Grow to give all my plants a big drink. "Victory Victory!" she'd shout/sing and her group would answer "Victory Victory!" "Victory over your job!" "Victory Victory!" "Victory over your marriage!" "Victory Victory!" "Victory over Lucifer!" "Victory Victory!"

Guess what I've been humming to myself for 2 days?