Debunking

I'm sure all the ladies have heard that urban legend about looking your best even when you go to the grocery store because you never who you're going to meet! You never know WHO'S going to ask you in the pasta aisle if you have any ideas about what to serve with penne or who will stop you in the dairy case and tell you he's so enamored with your stunning beauty he just HAS to ask you out for an ice cream cone immediately. I've been grocery shopping in various cities and different parts of town for 11 years now and I've never been picked up before. Until this morning. Here's the story...

The curtain rises...

I follow the adage about never grocery shopping when you're hungry. Instead, I prefer to go when I feel like throwing up. After a round of bootcamp this morning I stopped at Lowe's to see my new friends and buy some industrial strength Round Up, then headed to my friendly local Martin's Supermarket. Imagine if you will...sweaty pants, sweaty t-shirt, sweaty red bandanna...no make-up but plenty of funk. I'm cruising quickly through produce and stop to get some bananas, telling myself that when I have a sweet craving I will be satisfied with a banana and I won't cry.

From behind me I hear "Those are some good looking bananas!" I turn and shoot a friendly smile to a fellow I'll call Mr. 3 Teeth. I didn't think it was possible to look worse or smell more than me at that instance but Mr. 3 Teeth was proving me wrong. I told him I'd never SEEN such nice bananas and moved along, mentally apologizing to every person I passed for putting them through half of what Mr. 3 Teeth was projecting from his pores.

I rounded the corner, feeling the pressure to get out of there and get home where Roni would not judge but embrace my funkiness. Down aisle 3...here comes Mr. 3 Teeth. "We meet again!," he says as we pass. I give him another smile, tell him it's supermarket fate, and never slow down. I'm trying to hurry but as luck would have it, I couldn't find the turkey sausage I was looking for and I was delayed big time by the meat counter lady. So by the time I went down the last aisle, Mr. 3 Teeth was there, looking at bread or something.

"You've got to stop following me!," he playfully yells as I walk by. "You have a magnetic personality!" I yell back over my shoulder as I hop into a check out lane. There were no more interactions and I walked out to my car, wondering if girls really DO get picked up all the time in the grocery store and Mr. 3 Teeth was my grocery store boyfriend destiny. Is the key to getting picked up in the store looking your worst?? Do moms around the world and Cosmo have their advice BACKWARDS?