How Does One Know When it's Acceptable to Loot?

Friday night George Clooney and I walked onto the set of "Escape From New York."

It was supposed to be a low key evening: Lenten acceptable dinner at one of my favorite restaurants downtown (seriously--shrimp in chipotle...YUM!) and then maybe a movie or some tv, if I could stay awake.

At the restaurant George and I ran into my friend Neil Diamond and her fiance. (I named Neil before I knew the whole celebrity-name thing would be a "thing") We discussed the downtown St. Patrick's Day tent party happening a few blocks away and our mutual "meh" feelings. And the meh feelings were justified, as drunkies came wandering into the restaurant all night being loud and obnoxious.

After my screaming spicy shrimp in chipotle and a screaming good bottle of wine, George and I tempted fate by deciding to wander closer to the tent party to get a closer look. I don't think my words could describe the scene adequately. There were people wandering all over the streets, looking ridiculous, and most wearing flashing green necklaces. They were yelling: across the streets to each other, within their own circles, down the street to unseen people...

George and I happened upon a fight in progress, which is always awesome. Two guys yelling, screaming f-bombs, pushing each other, and the most serious of all fighting techniques--taking off their t-shirts. We found out as we passed and the 2 guys friends starting walking with us (???) that the guys were just having pizza together, happy as clams. How quickly the circle of life goes 'round, right?

Really all that was missing to make it a perfect apocalyptic scene were trash cans on fire. I asked George Clooney if the city had a loot whistle, something to let the citizens know when we could start looting stores. Because we were in front of Dainty Maid Bakery and I would LOVE to loot that place.