I'm in a weird mood today. I wouldn't call it sad, or irritated, or angry, or even blase. I guess the closest adjective to describe my feeling today is contemplative. Maybe pensive. Which ever sounds the most poetic and dramatic.
I have orientation for my Master's program tonight. And I'm conflicted. I remember packing up our minivan and driving from Nebraska to Indiana for my orientation at Saint Mary's. I knew with every ounce of my being and in the depth of my soul that I wanted to be at Saint Mary's. But as the mile markers ticked by and we entered Indiana, all I wanted to do was turn the van back around and go back to the known. I was filled with equal parts excitement and dread and it was a really confusing weekend: part of me wanted nothing more than for my mom to just pack up and get out of town so I could get this part of my new life started. The other part of me wanted to throw my arms around her neck and refuse to let go. Luckily for her and her back I decided the neck thing wasn't very smart.
I don't know if I remember how to study. Will it come back to me? The last book I read that didn't feature David Sedaris or vampires was...a long time ago. I don't know where to park. I don't know where the buildings are. What if I can't keep up? Can't I just go home and throw my arms around Roni?
The Road goes ever on and on
ReplyDeleteDown from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
--J.R.R. Tolkien