This morning I signed my sleep, money, contentedness, and all dairy products* over to a woman who told me I've lost about 10 inches from doing her torture/bootcamp classes. She pinched me so hard with those torture fat tester things that I had to grip the counter because I was crying and afraid I'd pass out. It was a moment of weakness, a defining moment actually. I was willing to write a humongous check because one woman praised me.
Further testing is needed to see if this applies to other parts of my personality. Please don't anyone tell me I look ravishing with short hair...I'm likely to go Telly Savalas-style.
*She THINKS I'm giving up dairy. And wheat. And alcohol. And Splenda. Which is what I have for breakfast everyday (cereal with milk and splenda and a Budweiser)
Pardon me, madam. I saw your sanity fleeing down the sunny side of the street.
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