Last weekend I was in the sun room when I saw my neighbors pull up to their house. Except they didn't really "pull up to the house." The driver (I'll call her "Screamy") stopped the car in the street in front of their house. The passenger (I'll call her "Blank Stare") got out of the car. She picked up the 2x4 they keep in the street--perpendicular to the curb at our property line to separate their parking space from my parking space--and began to "sweep" the wet leaves, dirt, and yucky stuff that accumulates along a curb from their side of the curb to mine.
I watched for half a minute, determining that this was what I was seeing, before going to the front door. I opened my front door wide and stood in the doorway, watching Blank Stare walk around her yard and pick up other leaves and then walk back over to deposit the debris in the little pile she'd made on my curb. I probably stood in the doorway a good two minutes before Screamy spotted me.
"GET IN THE DAMN CAR! SOMEONE'S IN THE HOUSE WATCHING YOU! SO DAMN STUPID! STUPIDEST ________ ________, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE _________!"
Luckily Blank Stare had rolled down the passenger window before getting out, so the screams were nice and loud and clear for me to hear. Screamy went on and on while Blank Stare stood on the lawn and literally shook with fear. Screamy successfully parked the car after a mere 8 attempts at parallel parking, the whole time screaming through the open passenger window at Blank Stare about how stupid she was. After parking and making sure that their car was backed up to the 2x4, they walked up to their house--screaming and shaking, respectively--never once looking over at me, still standing in the wide open doorway.
I have a feeling there's a Dateline episode brewing.
No comments:
Post a Comment