Correspondence

Dear South Bend Bureau of Streets,

You posted Temporary Tow Away Zone signs along my street 2 weeks and plowed up all the asphalt. Any idea on when you plan to repave? Now that we've won All American City have we just given up on completing unfinished projects? Just let me know.

Thanks,
Jessica

Dear Little Black Kitten that's been hanging around my house,

I'm not mean and I won't hurt you. Please don't run away when I try to pet you. If you would like to live with me that's fine. Your new name will be Rooster.

Love,
Jessica

Dear Facebook Friends,

I keep track of all my friends. If you unfriend me, that's fine. But you should know that I will begin emailing you everyday to let you know what my status is.

Haha!
Jessica

Dear Kate Spade,

You did not live up to my dreams or expectations. We're breaking up. You're on a third class UPS trip back to New York.

Don't call me,
Jessica

Dear Gap,

I've been a huge fan of your Favorite Ts since about 2000. I buy them faithfully, every season, in basic white and black but also whatever limited color selection you make available that year. It amuses me that with the cult following this t-shirt has, you continually--seemingly ANNUALLY--alter the style, cut, and fit of the shirt. Despite having a drawer full of t shirts that are all the same size on the label, I have skinny tees, baggy tees, long tees, short tees, tees with huge arm holes, tees with tiny little arm holes, tees that are nice and thick, tees that are virtually see-through, tees with high necks and tees with "crew" necks that are more scoop neck.

I'm about one season from starting a quest to find a new favorite basic t shirt. You exhaust me.

Jessica